Off The Beaten Record: Zeke Is No Reason to Root for Cowboys
By ROSS BISHOFF
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Me sitting here, without a real “team” to root for in the NFL playoffs, I tend to root against the lesser of all evils.
Yes, the same way most of you vote.
After all, we have to spend a whole year with this team, and their fans, as our champions, reminding us forever and ever through the medium of T-shirts and Facebook posts that they are indeed better than the rest.
They’re not going to let us forget.
So it’s not so much who wins as it is who doesn’t.
And that’s why the Dallas Cowboys can’t win. It can’t happen.
Not for me, at least.
We already have to deal with the Cubs, so, let’s just not add to this anguish.
A lot of people I know (cough, dad, cough) will, in fact, root for the Cowboys simply because of the remarkable season Ezekiel Elliott has had. And I get that.
Elliott has been fantastic. He’s done Ohio State proud. But much like a Fantasy Football mentality, you can root for one player to do well while the rest of the team crumbles.
And I’m hoping the Packers can make that happen Sunday. And if not them, the Falcons or Seahawks. And if not them, I guess the Patriots or, to a much lesser extent, the Steelers. I guess.
If you’re a Cowboys’ fan, and there have always been a lot of you for some reason — which I guess accounts for the “America’s Team” moniker — don’t act all angry or innocent.
You don’t need to hate me because I’m openly rooting against your team.
We all get one team to hate. That one team we loathe. It could be the Steelers or Broncos. The Yankees or the Cardinals. Or the Red Wings. Or Alabama or Michigan or, shh, Ohio State (Haters? They have a few). Maybe it was Ronda Rousey before, well, she stopped winning.
We all have that one team we just … can’t … stand.
For me it was the team with the big blue star. And the stadium with its hole in the top, y’know, so “God could watch every Sunday.”
Before you say it, it’s true, the 1990s really did a number on me as Dallas swaggered through the league.
Emmitt Smith and Michael Irving and Troy Aikman, Jimmy Johnson and Jerry Jones, winning three Super Bowls, ripping apart the league every Sunday on FOX.
Dominating everything in their paths. Those were dark times. I still have nightmares of Johnson’s southern accent belting out, “How bout them Cowboys?” at the top of his lungs.
And now it seems we could be primed for a renaissance.
Dak Prescott and Elliott are just starting their careers. The Cowboys have an unbelievable offensive line. Nobody else in the league seems as talented and young.
They’ve got their stuff together. And they’re coming for us all.
The very thought sends a shiver down my spine.
Quote of the Week: “He, Tom Brady and Joe Montana are the three I would give the nod to as the best ever.”
– Steve Spurrier, talking about Peyton Manning. Spurrier and Manning headlined the 2017 College Hall of Fame class, announced Monday.
Number of the Week: 200
– Congrats to Spencerville boys basketball coach Kevin Sensabaugh on reaching the 200-win plateau.
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What you’ve just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.